Cant find it! why oh why!

So i went to my friends 21st bday, and we had pepper steak, cake and a nice glass of some dessert wine! Now i dont drink a lot, and i dont like the tast of beer, or wine usualy. the wine she got was amazing, so i figured since she is going to come celebrate with me on my bday id get the same wine, but in a different flavor, the wine we had has 4 flavors, the store we works at sells 3 of the 4.....and of course the one i want to try WE DONT SELL! ive called so several other places and they dont even sell it. my last chance to find this wine is to call liquor stores and pray they will have it in a month since that is when my bday is. I figure drinking isnt something you should just so all the time, so i dont drink all the time, and when comeing to special occasions i was trying to figure what to get, i like smirnoff and twisted tea, but i didnt want to buy a case of anything cause its just so much, a bottle of wine for 3 or 4 people, is just perfect. Thank to my dear friend who is like a sister to me, i know what to get, and hopefuly i can get the flavor i want, if not i suppose i can try the other 2 flavors, give them a shot since the one we had i know i like. its fusterating, i tryed to use the wines websight to see if i could find where to buy it near me, it has a where to buy button, you choose the flavor you want to buy, put in your zip and how many miles your willing to go and click search, and....NOTHING! so i tryed other flavors and still got nothing. so i sent the link to a friend and asked them to put in my zip and search for me, nothing, they get something for thiers but not mine! :( i want this wine! and i dont usualy like wine! plus my dept manager told me a wine that was sweet and not tart to try but of course I FORGOT THE DAMN NAME! ill have to text her and ask her the name.
as you can see im not stating the name of it because i dont want to get shut down for copywright issues for putting the name of a wine. dont still know 100% how the whole copywright thing works, but i wont take my chances, so if anyone want to know just google dessert wines, flavors strawberry n cream is what we had and i want to try peaches n cream! so hopefuly if anyone searches for it they will find the brand im talking about, maybe if i get lucky ill find someone with information tomorro at the fair! but thats a fat chance! oh well a lady can only hope!

on a side note, my mother went to her friends house to get the money from her to take to the fair to buy things for her (shes a hus bound old lady who still plays video games and shes almost 90! with arthiritas so bad its like her hand is 1 whole knuckle!) she was gone for 45 mins maybe a little longer. in all that time i moped the bathroom/hall, did 1 load of laundry/watered the lawn (which i contued doing after my mother got home, lots of laundry n a big ass yard), i also vaccumed and clean where my coffee maker is and cleaned the bathroom counter. in total 3 bags of garbage (2 of which were just from our kitchen trash and living room trash), i wish i had more time to really do this everyday, but i work 40 hours a week here people!
rant LOL my bad this wasnt supposed....well i suppose it was a rant just not a work rant!
nap time, to tired to care after cleaning all day and to have a day of fun tomorro!

I need a weeks vacation

So i work and work and work, i mean holly cow i work my butt off. I get 40 hours a week which yes is amazing and yes my pay is amazing to an extent. Checks are decent-ish but still not enough to live off. Now if there was no damn taxes id be makeing bank! - but thats just a dream to dream.
For the department i work in, there is only my dept manager, me and 1 other person, and this department is high maintance, like super high! I even get more hours then my co worker who has been there for 5 years. im pretty sure he has amazing pay or at least really good cause he has 3 days off every week. I so couldnt live with that.
I walk to work and most of the time home from work not to mention all over the store that i work at. So if i had to guess how many miles i walk id say at least 20 if not more. I know for sure i walk 1 to 2 every single day i work. Cause i live a mile from work, which isnt a long drive at all, but no car means walking.
So yes that is a shit ton of mileage on my poor feet and legs. Ive been doing this for a year, well a year and almost 2 weeks. In hot hot hot humid weather and freezing cold fucking snow! So deep it come to my shins!

What does all of this say?

 I NEED A FREAKING WEEKS VACATION!

Somthing where i can sit on my butt and relax for a day or two then go do things i want to do! BUT i only have 13hours of personal time.....thats a day and like 5 hours. So a day and a half....and im sure some of you are like ???waaaa???? im part time so i didnt start getting personal time til about 2 weeks ago. No insurance yet.....sucks but oh well.... I dont sleep welll.....so im tired all the time, if i had a week off id sleep and sleep omg, make it 2 weeks and id probably sleep for a week its self!

Not to mention ill be on over nights for 4 days, all 10 hour shift, will be same pay as usual but 3 days off, which is nice, but damn will i be exhosted. I know, after working a 12 hour shift one day that 10 hours is my max. If i could work 4 days a week with 10 hour shifts all the time and keep my 40 hours and my pay and have 3 days off, id probably be happy. Tired still yes, stress yes, but still happy.

2 days is just not enough to do anything when you work all day. and if you dont have a car......like now as i write this, im drowsy, and just kinda wanna sleep....but i havent really wrote a partway decent blog in a while and i wanted to share this wit those who do read this if anyone besides the 2 people i know of read it. which like ive said before i doubt it and that honestly doesnt bother me because this is more for me to put my thoughts out and rant and rave then for other people to read. but hey if someone does then yay! grats to you for finding my blog and actualy continualy reading my rants and crazyness and probably lameness......yup.


speak of, my co worker (not the one in the same department) ask me if i was writing a book! i told her im do dumb to write a book, even my blog posts are stupid sometimes. oh well, nice thought though.

Yard work

So, i havent watered or mowed or weedeated my lawn in a couple weeks......so i have some patches of green and a lot of brown in my yard.
I have an agreement with my neighbors, we can use thier fenced in yard for out dogs and they can use our water spicket (we dont pay for water) to water thier lawn since they cant get to thiers. well......i cant water my lawn while thier watering thiers......and they water thiers EVERYDAY!
they had it on when i was mowing the lawn...thier not home,......so yes i turned theirs off so i could water my nice brown fucking yard. i dont mind them useing it BUT EVERY FREAKING DAY! thier grass is not going to get any greener......hopefuly they will be gone alll day so i can use the water....i do need another hose cause i cant reach my whole lawn with the 2 we have and should prolly get a better sprinkler cause oours kinda sucks. i want the one that is like....i dont know how to describe it....but it will work better even with low water pressure....
mowing the lawn doesnt take long with my awesome mower, but weed eating takes some time cause i have an electric weed eater, and not enough extension cord.......and they like to come unplugged......so thats a bit of an adventure.....

Did i say or hint at this?

I hate it when someone wants something and they tell you, hey go do this and we can have this....im like DID I HINT THAT I WANTED THAT OR WANTED TO DO THAT? No no I didn't
If you want something do it yourself. Don't have someone else do it or ask someone else to do it and then get mad cause they don't want to.

After long thought...

Sitting here i was looking at my blog thinking...man i really dont always have something to write about, and i dont want this to be an all of me sort of blog, i want it to be thoughts, and adventures. so ive started a photography blog, no i am not a professional photographer, but i love takeing pictures, so why not make a blog where i can post all of them and talk about them, not a lot but some, like what was going on or thoughts when i took it or why i took it. so this is the link http://freedomph.blogspot.com/
and this is also an amazing blog to read http://gardenandlifestone.blogspot.com/

check them out!

Finaly Finished and the power is fail today!

I have finished the book i was makeing! yay! and soon i will give it to my niece if i ever can get to her hour or she comes here, as i do not have a car we shall see how this plays out and how she likes it.
After the book was done i went to cook dinner, my garlic broiled chicken and the power goes out, so i had to light the grill and make half broiled chicken and half grilled chichen.......it tasted good still but its not what i planned. the power was out for an hour, then came on for 10 mins max then was out for another hour.......grrr needless to say, i get settled to watch my shows after eating and FU POWER thats all i have to say.......rant over

What is going on in the world?

I came home after a long day of work....and went to see what i could have for dinner......nothing, i have nothing i can make a decent meal out of for dinner. So my mother, who i live with, and no not for free and my name is on the title to our home as well as hers, so yes i have all legal rights to live here and she has no legal right to kick me out, is currently making hash browns and eggs.......i thought, ok a salad.....well we dont have any chicken to put in it and a regular salad sounded......unappealing. the eggs and hash browns dont sound much better but there is not much else so have. soup? too hot. pot pie or breakfast corndog? to hot! didnt have anything unthawed, and just eating chips is not a meal, its junk food.


this is no way to live, if i have a home i should be able to have a nicely stocked fridge, freezer and cupboards, so i can cook when im hungry.....and cook good food, but even between the both of us we cant afford to pay bills and eat decently......just not enough money. and even if i got another part time job it still wouldnt be enough. i cant even pay all my bills as fully as i wish i could. i dont even have a car, i couldnt even afford one if i did....
things keep getting pricier and pricier.....i guess Hershey will be raising their prices cause coco prices are going up. lets go back to when u could get 6 candy bars for $1 and gas was 50c a gallon.....when my mother was young. that would be nice, anyone agree? make the money i get now and pay prices of back then, id LOVE that omg, i think the whole world would, no homeless people and the rich can do as they please.

everyone is so greedy these days, no one is willing to help without payment.
just sad. people should help others just to help, for a good deed for the day, yes?

so never will happen, wed have a zombie apocalypse before that would ever happen.

A time where shit is cheap, u get great pay and ppl are not afraid to punish thier children and teach them manners.....you know there is a difference between punish and beat and abuse and if you dont know that difference YOU HAVE ISSUES!!!!
Kids have no manners now, and OMG it is annoying.....i cant stand it, i wanna spank other peoples kids (i dont not have any! not ready to be a mom) for some of the shit they do. SHIT I WANNA SPANK THE DAMN PARENTS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! TEACH YOUR DAMN KIDS!

I wounder what someone would do if i spanked them and then spanked thier kid? any thoughts? or am i still just talking to my 2 friends i know read this, i wish these would tell me how many people read my posts...... ok ive ranted enough about this, maybe ill rant about something else laters.

Favorite

This, this is the beautiful view i get to see everyday i walk to work, i just love it.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Ive noticed that around a certain time of night i get super tired and its the same time every night, its to the point that when it happens i know oh its 10pm. its strange because i used to stay up til 2 n the morning all the time like every night with no problems. Very much so obviously i must be super tired because i have to stop and spell check every other word and usually i have no problem typing, i misspell a few words but not every other word, if i posted without spell checking it would probably look like this......

imer so tirrd itsi not eve funyy

thats what i was typing, not even proper words. and like i have said in an earlier post, im a great typer, improper English i know, either im super exsostid ad i dont now it or my keyboard is dyeing, wireless keyboard so i dont have to have my laptop sitting in my lap, it gets quite hot at times......ok yeah maybe its both, i shall hopefully remember to put new batteries in this tomorrow, for now it is time for bed damn it.......now its making me mad......

and yes i spelt exsostid very wrong, but ive spell checked it several times and cant get what i want

Yes a realization

So i was sitting here thinking.......my blogs are probably really weird, its almost as if im talking to someone, telling them a story, althught half the time i talk people dont really litsten. Which is almost the case with my blog, cause as of now there is only 2 people that i know of that have read or will read this and continue to read this. Other then that i doubt if any one else in the whole world will give a fuck about what a person like me has to say or what i do. im sure ill probably get a lot of haters, mostly with my spelling and how crappy my writing is, which i know it sucks, i wasnt very good at school, im lucky to have graduated, honestly im surprised i did. i figured id have to do my senior year over or even summer school. i failed both my AP classes in junior year, had to do them as independent study during senior year. but here i am, a high school grad with no further education or deisre to further my education, really 12.....well 13 if u count kindergarden and actaully 14 if u add pre k. anyways, that is more then enough schooling as i can handle, enough being graded on how stupid i am. obviously im not some genious here people, i cant spell worth shit, and my vocab is small needless to say. well maybe its about avergage who knows. there is this wonderful girl that i work with and i love talking to her because her vocab is massive but i dont unerstand half of what she says. i told her that one day too, i said - i love talking with you, but you make me feel stupid - flat up. apparently she is a lot more book smart then i am, im at least some what street smart and im decent on a computer, i can type quite well.....without looking at my fingers and yes in the proper way, sometimes i dont even have to look at the screen i know a keybord so well, i guess that has to count for something.
the list of things i can do is quite short. i can act very very well, did a lot of theater in school, which i miss, and should get back into, but it takes a lot of time. and im not sure there is a large enough theater cround in the town i live in, i may just have to look into that. so typeing, acting, apparently great phone sevice i guess, according to my managers.i guess im somewhat ok with most kids, as long as their not newborns. pretty decent with animals, most of the time. my dog gets annoyed with me. in a great driver, love driving. i can cook and bake thanks to my mother. shes a great cook, ive learned a lot from her and not just cooking but about life. and i hope if i have kids one day i can do the same for them.
 im terrafied of thunder OMG I HATE THAT SHIT! yes yes i know, a but stupid for my age.....although if u dont know me then u dont know my age, but yes i am an adult. i cant sing or dance worth crap. i procrastinate a lot, good at that but its a bad thing. suck at school.
i guess im just a bit too tired to think of anything else, although i am in my little bubble of a world, listening to music and blogging.
only plus side is i dont have to work too too early tomorro.still i just go to sleep........if i can
laters invisable people who are reading my nonsense blogs!

Baby book time

So now that my great nephew is born, i should get his baby book done. At this point i have finaly told my niece what the surprise gift i have for her is, and that of course its not finished. So i started back on working on it, and oh my goodness my back hurts from sitting for so long working on it. I didnt realise how much work goes into scrapbooking or even makeing a normal baby book. It takes a lot and a lot of money, i have put so much into this. I guess thats why im so nervious about weither or not my niece will like it. Obviously i hope she will as will my great nephew, but you never know, and even when people seem happy about a gift they could be fakeing it. People seem to always want to spare other peoples feeling, so they lie about things. Everyone does it, there is no getting arround it. As far as the rest of the baby book i need to work on is quite a but but hopefuly it wont take very long, there is some informaion that i cant fill out in it because i dont know the people that well to put any info on it. So my niece can add that, it will just be easier, plus the purpose of it is for her to add photos and other things that she wants as little man grows up.Here is the wonderful spread of my work, yes the white stuff is my "blurring"of information and faces, as i worked it got messier and messier.....took a while to clean it up. and it will go on like this for several days im sure.

Interesting thing about this websight, i have an app for it, so i can blog even when im not at home on my computer, little harder on my smart phone but still just as convient for my work rants. Althught i cant read anyone elses blogs on there. Sucks oh well. 

Lawn Mowing adventure!

So i used to borrow a friends parents lawn mower, it was old and reliable, but i have a feeling they were useing the gas i payed for, for thier car. cause there is no way you can use up 2 gallons of gas in a small mower in less then 1 week.......so, i baught one from work for 170, top brand mower, needed one bad. got a gas can today and put gas/oil in the little thing and pulled the cord.....TADA! started no problem. the one i borrowed i had to FIGHT non stop to start it and make it move, so it took at least an hour maybe longer to get my cornor lot done......HOLY SHIT right? way to long for our lawn, granted it is a corner lot. this new mower, omg omg omg! i LOOOOVVVEEEE IT! self propelled! yay! like i said i pull and it started no problem, then it took off and i just walked along behind it telling it where to go. sooooo easy! i loved it. only shitty thing is someone threw a freaking chain//hook in our yard and i ran it over, thankfuly it just got caught and didnt mess up my mower bad. took like....im guesing half an hour to do the lawn with this thing. i can in my house and told my mom OMG THIS THING IS AMAMZING I FREAKIN LOVE IT!
when i was done she was so shocked, she didnt even belive it! neither could i honestly, but i still did get a little too hot out in this freaking 90 someodd degree weather!
gonna be hot allll week, yay! not.....
i think i will enjoy mowing the lawn now instead of dreading it.
this isnt anything really new, just typical so we dont get kicked out of where we live, the new part of this is the mower, which i love.
the only downside is.....getting covered in grass, its got a mulcher so it doesnt have a bag....cool  mulch is good for the lawn keeps it healthy.......minus the fucking wind blowing it back at me.....
still, a nice long shower will take care of this, no biggie, worth it for the beauty of easily mowing the lawn.

on some side notes, that dont have to do with my lawn, got shopping done today since it was that time. got the photos to finish my gift for my niece/great nephew. plus the extra slips to put the pages in since i ran out of them. i have told her finaly what it is, and she seemed....meh abut it, but that might have been cause she was still in pain. understandable she did just have a kid. so hopefuly within the next few days i will get it done, ill put a blanket down in the living room and sprawl out on the floor and get to work. i may post pics after i blurr some information out of them ofc, no one needs to know my familys personal stuff. and i still need to wash the turtle i have for little man, since my niece had a thing for turtles for him.
got new shoes, spent a pretty penny i shuldnt have to do it, but i mean i walk to/from work and at work, i bet i walk atleast 20 miles a day, i know i walk 2, cause its about a mile to work and back. plus how much i walk at work. im afraid to wear a pedomiter to find out for sure!
one co worker wore one once, and in her posistion she walked 17 miles in 1 day. so i figure 20+ maybe for me. cause she only stays in one certian area of the store, and im pretty much alll over the damn store. helping everyone co worker and customers. do this and that for managers....which omg speakin of.....saw my manager and a co worker getting into a conflict because of something my co worker felt was discrimination, and i totaly agree, and he got sent home for it. omg he was pissed, majorly. i wouldnt at all be surpriseed if he quit.
i also got a mounted photo for my niece, of her and little man. its amazing i hope shell love it, if not ill keep the damn thing and put it up in my house.
finaly got to watch my shows last night, OMG SO EXCITE! as grav3yardgirl would say. and serously if anyone is reading this go check her out on youtube. shes amazing! love her videos.
as of now i am hungry again, so i am ending this blog for now! more latter
allons-y!

Wonderful yet completely terrifying!

Just got home from see my cute little great nephew! omg is he so cute and so itty butty!
Aint he cute?
My mother wanted to hold him, my niece who is still in pain from the c-section didnt want to move, understandable, but that ment i had to hand him to my mother which ment i had to pick him up!
I am so not at alll what so ever ready to be a mom, im not even sure i want kids! so of course picking up an itty bitt little baby scared the crap outta me and i as so careful, probably tooooo careful but what else are you supposed to do?
He is only probably 5lb, same weight as my dog, but so much more fragile!
Yes i did hold him for a while, its was kinda wonderful but terrifying! and the whole time im holding him my mother is stairing at me smileing - PAUSE! i told her dont look at me like that this is not happening any time soon. granted im only 2 years younger then my niece im to young to be a mom. and i so unprepared to even begin motherhood. im ok with being the great aunt - good enough for now.
finaly told my niece what my surprise gift was and told her it isnt done, cause well i ran out of slips to put the pages in......and i hope she loves it as much as everyone else has, and i hope my little nephew will too cause its for him as well.

I admire those who can take to motherhood so quickly and well at young ages, i dont think i could ever do that. there is still so much i want to do and see and im not ready to settle down and be responsable for someone elses life!

on a not so possitive not, im a little aggravated, i have tv shows i want to catch up on BUT the damn websight is down........so i have to wait yet again, like i have been for a while and its hell cause i wanna know what happens!
SO ADDICTING!

on a little side note im starving so this is the end of this post! more to come ;)

Little one welcome to the world

A few days ago my oldest niece gave birth to my first great nephew. Gonna go see the little man today. Prolly won't hold him holding babies scares me so I know I so am not ready to be a mom. On top of that with my job I don't think I could handle working around screaming kids and then come home to screaming kids or kid. I might go crazy. I admire those who can do it. And man I wish my niece lots of luck I'm sure shell be a great mom she already loves her son to death.
Babies are a handful. Lots of work and money and time and pain, and quite honestly I don't think I want kids. But I go back and forth from wanting them and not.

Starting New

I used to blog a lot, but i stopped for a very bad reason. So many things have changed recently and ive felt the need to blog again. Bloging is a stress reliever.
Its finaly time to start a new chapter in my life, and as a friend has called it it will be my journey to freedom.

I may at times rant and rant about the people i am surrounded by at work, althought i will not release as to where i work, but i work in retail. Those who also work in retail will understand my rants, but im sure lots of people will get very annoyed as i do on a daily basis with the people i have to deal with.
Although being able to laugh most of it off with my corwokers swaping stories about these people helps, ranting is what i want to do when its "one of those days" and i do get them quite often.

As far as me.....well im young, an aunt of 3 nieces and 3 nephews and 1 very special great nephew, yes great and no the niece who gave birth to him is NOT a teen mom, actualy she is older then me. As is her sister.
Yes i was an aunt before i was born, amazing i know, blows my mind all the time.
Shell be a great mom.

This blog isnt goin to be just one set of things. i love takeing pictures. Of sceenery and my adorable dog. so there will be a lot of those.

If anyone ever ends up reading this is in for a ride. if no one ever does oh well its something i love doing and i will enjoy getting back to blogging!

Allons-y!