Its been a while, had quite an eventful day.

Hey, I have made it to the library, I know its been quite some time.
I got a new job, I work for a call center now and I actually love it. It has a great environment and its not back to back calls. Its a 5 day a week sort of thing, and has decent pay.
I'm going to move out soon. Even if JD doesn't want to come with me, I'm moving. I cannot handle being with my mother any more. I'm getting too depressed being around her. I love my mom but its getting to be too much. Wish me luck.

The other day (Monday) was quite eventful. JD's male pit had a bit tumor or cyst on his chest/shoulder area. It was getting massive and he popped the sucker open and it was draining. The took him to the vet, the vet over the phone said they had 2 options. 1) Take him out of town for surgery and a skin graph. 2) Put him down. So with that JD was having a rough night, and morning, completely thought he was going to loose his dog. Turns out, since the silly mutt popped it open, it shrink-ed a bit and the vet was able to do surgery without skin graphs and was able to save him. They are lucky, they have been with their vet so long they can make payments. He is doing better.
After I came home that morning, my mom wanted to go to the welfare office to see what the local food donation place was going to leave. That wasn't until almost 1. So I went to see JD on his break. Came home, was close to 1 so we headed that way. We were coming back home, and saw several cops cars, a fire truck and an ambulance all outside of our building. Turns out, some guy stabbed another guy twice in the gut. Don't know why. Don't know if the guy is OK, there has been no updates about it so far. Then the guy who lives a few doors down from us, his placed was being searched by the cops, guess he is related to one of the people.
That was all for Monday, to day mom got a new electric wheelchair. She is being a pain as usual.
Going out of town this Saturday as we have been planning for a while.

Guess that's all for now. Laters'

--me

Just some updates from the library....

So i got a new job, and im just waiting to get into training, since they only do 2 classes a month.
Stimpy is a little sick, dont know if its Kennel cough or bronchitis, but he has a cough. Called a vet and he said if he is eating and drinking, and doing his business then he is ok. If he stops eating thats when you have to worry. So i have looked it up and you can give a dog coconut oil to help with kennel cough so its been helping a bit, i just mix it in his wet food we give him and he eats it.
Mom got sick and had to go to the hospital, she is home finally. Freaking out about stimpy but she wont listen to me when i tell her he is fine. Gonna do some research while i have access to a computer.

Ok, well i dont have much else to say, so bye

--me

Haha, life can be shitty

Ya i dont have a job anymore, and now im at the library because i dont have a computer either and well ya im job hunting, but i was thinking of starting an additional blog about review, my person thoughts on movies and books and books turned into movies and what was different and so on.
You know sometimes i wish some of you would respond to my posts so i could get your input, if you can do it without stating your name tell me please. Id like some feed back.

--me

It's gonna be a bit...

My laptop took a shit, so it'll be a while before I can blog often.

--me

We ended up looking at 2 houses

So we ended up seeing the house early, which was nice and we liked it a lot. Then we also went to see another house we both kinda liked, but if i honestly had to pick, id want the little blue house we saw first. But first we have to get our own realtor (is that how u spell it?) and get approval from the bank and i need a better job to pay for it. Hope it doesnt go to auction soon.

--me

Doing adult stuff

So JD and i are looking at a house tomorrow, ya im nervious and im looking for a new job so we can actually afford a place........we doing adult stuff and im scared.

--me

A talk with my mom

So i live with my mom as im sure you all know. The other day i came home and we were just at each others throats and i realised i cant take care of her anymore. I cant provide her with the proper care she needs. So i came home and sat down and said
"Mom i love you, but i cant take care of you anymore. I cant give you the care you need."
And based off that we had a long talk, about how the living situation we are in is not healthy for either of us. I cant care for her like she needs, and its too much on me. She agreed and then cried because she is afraid to be alone. Which i understand. She also said she knows i need to go and live my life with JD (omg thank god for backspace because i put down his real name!!!! O.O) she said she is happy for us and we are young and need to go out on our own.
Thats how i came home lol, but it was a good talk and im glad she didnt like freak out and try to talk me out of it.
Thats all for now guys.

--me

Could people been any more nuts?

So i have been working super hard and i am super sore and tired and today i just wanted to go home and relax and i was glad that JD was picking me up after work.
While we were walking to his truck, this person in this shit little red car was parking and not very well, they parked too close to JD's truck, so as carefully as i possibly could, (at this point the person had started walking to the store) i opened the door and gently set it next to this persons car, nothing to cause any alarm or harm. Im handing JD the soda to put in the cup holder on his side when this person comes back and yells at me to get the door off their car so i "wont risk the paint" because they "want their paint to stay intact".......
WHAT!
its a fucking car, so what if u get a tiny fucking scratch (which wouldnt have happened fyi) on your stupid fucking POS car because you dont know how to fucking park so i wouldnt have to put the door that way so i could get into my truck!
Its fucking cosmetic, who gives a flying fuck if you get a scratch on this POS old ass car, and it wasnt vintage or new or anything, it was like every other old car out there. It was maybe a 200-2007 somewhere in that rang, just a standard ass car and this person is crying about paint like a psycho!

Look i could understand if it was vintage or new (btw JD's truck is a 2016 and he wasnt fucking worried about the damn paint) or if instead of screaming at me, you came up and calmly said "hey would you mind not doing that please, this car is special (or some shit) and i dont want to risk a sratch" id be like "shit im sorry sure no problem, my bad"
Im reasonable person if your not fucking nuts and yelling at me ok, if you talk to me like im a human and show me respect maybe shit would be different!
Why cant people just respect each other and not being psycho about stupid ass shit?

Ok i took some water guns to a friends place last year and some kid broke them, and my friend was flipping out saying she would pay me back and was so sorry and im like "hey shit happens, they were cheap its ok im not worried about it"
SHIT HAPPENS PEOPLE CHILL AND GET THE FUCK OVER IT!
Get your damn head out your asses and get off the damn high horse and start treating people respectfully and being nice and maybe this world wouldnt be such shit anymore, i mean come on, people used to be nice but now everyone is a jackass who feels they are entitled to shit!
Just because (on a side not, but kinda not) i give out free shit, doesnt mean your fucking entitled to it ok, im working just as hard as you, walking my ass to work, do extra shit to get more hours so i can earn some kind of income, just like the rest of the fucking world ok. I dont go around actng like an entitled ass, i know shit happens and just because someone is working a job doesnt fucking mean they know everything or know what the fuck they are doing all the damn time!
People dont seem to understand that you dont get trained anymore, you get tossed to the entitled wolves to sink or swim.
So how about we start acting like humans again and show each other respect.
Know when you go somewhere or call some service that maybe your talking to a new person or someone who hasnt had the job long and may need some time or help. Dont expect instant gratitude ok, chill the fuck out and slow down and deal with the shit ok, you wont die! I promise it will feel much better.

(omg, if i have some shit spelling im sorry, i fixed all the stuff i could, total rant mode and this was hours after the fact)

thats all rant over im okish lol

--me

Its monday and i finally did it

Its monday and im blogging lol i did this much but i also did something else!
I got cotton a friend!
Her name is Bendi and she is super sweet and timid and i love her
I am keeping them seperate until they are fixed because cotton has already tried to mount her and she is way too little for that!

she is in cottons old cage for now and its more then enough room for her little self, i even made her a blanket and gave her some of cottons toys and 1 of his stuffies, but i will get her her own when i have the money!
thats all for now i guess


--me

Haha, its been 2 weeks, sorry :(

I know i said i would try to blog every monday, and well that was 2 weeks ago. But im here now, on a tuesday and i am blogging.
I was reading this book called The Circle by Dave Eggers - it was good all til the end and i hated the end, so go look it up. Read it, for me it was a blind read, i had no idea what book i was getting.
Im taking cotton to the vet to make sure he is healthy and happy and then i may get him fixed so i can get another bun.
I may also be watching my nieces birds when she goes to college.....
thats all i guess bye!

--me

Im a bad blogger :(

The title kind of says it all, but oh well.
I know i should blog more, so im going to try and blog every monday, it may not be about much but if i can do this then i can do youtube.
JD traded in his truck for a new one since the old one was die-ing on us.
We went fishing (we didnt fish just enjoyed the sun) with friends on sunday, and i am going to PT (have been for a little bit) to try and help with my back pain, and though my therapist doesnt have me doing much, it has been helping.
Yes im still walking to work, weather has been ok but as of right now its raining (was thundering and lightning earlier but it stopped)
My little plants are doing ok, growing like a weed! But i hope that means im taking good care of them. My mint, lavender and sage all have new little buds and are growing big :)
Im almost done reading the books i own from my reading challenge, so ill have to get more that i need to read or see if the library has them.
That sums it up for now. Til next time!

--me

Bonnie got some friends

So, i have shown you bonnie and have been talking to the company that sends out it and the orchids you can buy, so i can keep get alive. So along the way, Bonnie has not gotten some friends (who dont have any names yet).
I got an orchid, a lavender plant, a sage plant and a mint plant.
Help me name them?

I got called a F@#$ing S*&^ at work....

So i dont talk a lot about my job, but the other day (Sunday the 28th) i was working and handing out free food as my job requires. This young teen aged kid cam to my cart several times.
Now we can not tell anyone no you cant have a sample (we can say, your under 13, an adult has to give you the sample, you cant take it yourself) and people can have as many as they want.
So i didnt say anything to this kid after the first couple of times, he knew what the food was and the drink was and liked it. So i was standing there talking with this guy that was doing a hair styling tool demo thing from another company and i gave him half a burger (i was making frozen burger) because my shift was slowly coming to an end and it was getting very slow in the store so i had to get rid of the food that would go bad because we wernt doing this demo again.
So we are talking and this same kid comes up, takes another plate and under his breath called me (or possibly the guy) a Fucking Slut.....it was off hand and out of no where.
This guy and I kinda look at each other like, wait what? did we both just really hear that.
After a few moment i told the guy what i thought i herd the kid say, and he thought the same thing. Not a few seconds later and little terd comes back and takes another plate and walks away.
I had no idea what to think or do, so i just kept doing my job and the kid never came back. After i was off and waiting for JD to come and pick me up (since his truck is broke down, so i cant use it anymore) i went and found the guy and was like, im pretty sure thats what the kid said but i have no idea why.
Thats how my day went, but memorial day, JD and i went to a couple dealerships just to look arround and ended up driving a couple Hondas, well i drove them. One was a stick and he cant drive a stick but i can! It was fun and i got sunburnt because it was hot and i took off the hoodie.
Guess thats all....


--me

ps bonnie is getting what i think is mold on her soil! i emailed the company she comes from for help, hope it turns out well because i really want to get an orchid.

Meet Bonnie

I got a plant, her name is Bonnie.
She is Just Add Ice Bonsai and honestly its like i have Baby Groot with hair and i love it.

Meet my pets

So i feel like posting this, enjoy!

These photos are of my rabbit Cotton - he is a mix between a Holland Lop and a Dwarf Rabbit.
He is a little over a year old, i have had him since Easter of  2016.
He is a nut and sometimes a jerk but i still love him. I got him a big play pen (above) so he can run around whenever he wants. I also made him a blanket that he loves to hide under.
He has lots of toys, plastic cat balls and special made chewing toys that looks like baby blocks and 2 snoopy stuffed animals (1 from Easter and 1 from Halloween)

This is my dog Stimpy (yes from the show and he has a brother named Ren).
He is a purebred Chihuahua - blond and he is 9 years old. I have had him since he was a little over 1 years old. He is a big baby but i love him. He is spoiled rotten as these photos show, but he is well trained and behaved.

Besides these two as my pets, well cotton is my pet, and stimpy is my service dog.
My mom also has a service dog but he is not mine so im not going to post him on here.
So those are my animals, i am most likly going to get a fish soonish - im working on it, doing my research and making sure that when i do get one it will life like its supposed to and not die because i wasnt educated on how the animal should be.

So since i have shown my animals, i guess ill tell you the food and goodies i give them.

Starting with cotton - i give him alfalfa hay cubes (its packed hay), loose alfalfa hay, and adult bunny pellets. He has an array of treats - i have found 2 he doesnt like, 1 i could feed to the dogs, the other i cant, so idk what im gonna do with it.
He likes Healthy bites, Carrot Crunchies (im out of these right now), Veggie Puffers, Treat sticks (which is like seads and oats and stuff stuck together like a snack bar), Animal lovers garden patch and his favorite is extreme tropical treasures (little fruit things). I feed him fresh fruit and veg on occassion. So far he likes apple, kale, strawberry, blackberry, banana, raspberry, cara cara (a grapefruit/orange hybrid)basil and cilantro. Yes he can have all of those, i looked it up before i even tried to give him any. He hates carrots and celery.

Stimpy is getting old, he has bad hips and tummy issues, so i have gone from giving him regular cheap dog food to decently priced grain free dog food. Yes my moms dog eats it as well as he has no choice since they eat the same food. I give him grain free wet food as well on occasion. He loves this raw hide alternative called Dream Bones (in all the flavors) and they (the company who makes Dream Bones) also make a treat called Kabobs and he loved them as well. Along with beggin strips and the typical dog teeth cleaning treats. He loves ice cold water, tea and soda (the last 2 he gets vvvveeerrrryyyyy rarely). He has a nice set up kennel he spends most of his time in, lots of bedding and blankets. The dogs get treats when they behave, or when i trim their nails. I trained them both to go to their kennels with their treats to eat them, it was super simple and stimpy took to kennel training quite quickly and very well.

That covers it. Hope you enjoyed my pets.

--me

Some thoughts...

I was sitting here watching PLL on netflix and staring at my tummy thinking about my recent dental appointment. I was looking at what the dentist was typing on the computer and ofc as all doctors will put on my records i am "obese" and i know im big for my height and age. What it made me start to think is why do we use such a word that makes people feel like shit? Its not always the persons fault that they are big. When i was little, i has bladder issues which required surgery to fix, which in turn made my hormones out of balance and i developed early.
Not only did i get bewbs and my monthly friend, i put on weight. Something that i have and always will struggle with and it sucks. I already see myself in an aweful way, and i know how others see me.
You would think, in a world with so many issues as is, instead of making more and causing more issues with each other, we would get rid of all these negative words and just accept the fact that we are all different - and we should love each others differences. I grew up in a world where being big was very very bad. Now as an adult we are loving curves. Not being a little big, just curves. (i had a better way to say it but i cant spell the words i want to use T_T QQ majorly).'
I mean if anyone reads this at all, you have seen my old posts and how down on myself i can be.
I guess i was just wishing there was a better, more peaceful and accepting world to live in.

Late night and tears....

So im terrible at this, i dont ever know what to do, and i usual only end up writing something when im upset or something is on my mind. Its late and i have to work early in the morning. So lets catch up first and then address why im crying.
Fist me and JD are still together and we are engaged. Beautiful ring, and no it wasnt a romantic proposal like he wanted, the jewler from the store threw him under the bus. Needless to say, i could care less how he proposed, im just glad to know he wants to spend his life with me.
Second, we are planning to have a baby, if the world doesnt go to hell because of president trump....
Im working, easy job, decent money. Im ok right now minus the state of the world. it is bearing down on my mind. Maybe i shouldnt have had a monster energy drink so late in the day, and prolly shouldnt have had so much soda.....oh well i suppose. We know my anxiety can be a bitch and it has decided to be a bitch right now.
So as i type this i am listeneing to JulienJenna podcast on youtube, while my old phone plays NCIS on netflix, cause i listen to it to fall asleep. Look how well that is working right now! :(
So to the reason i cant sleep and why im crying. Recently it has been semi declared that Donald Trump has pretty much called World War 3 with Russia.....stuff was sent one way and then trump responded with the same shit basically saying bring it.
Im 23, i have only slept with 1 man (which im so happy about), im not married (yet), and i dont have any kids (hopfully yet) and i may be dead before any of that can happen because of this jackass who has no idea what the hell he is doing ruling a country. Because we are now in a world where sexism and racism is again a HUGE deal, where right before we were slowly working on fixing the bullshit the is human stupidity.
The only thing i can think, is - thank god my dad isnt alive to see this - the things he would have to say. I miss him so much. I wonder what he would think of JD and of Trump and all the shit that is happening. He is prolly sitting somewhere wishing he could fix things. Maybe not? I dont know, you cant know what the dead is doing right?
Im scared and thats all there is to it. I wish JD was here to be with me and hold me and comfort me - but we cant get a decent job to be able to get a place with the shit economy that is America today.
I hope to hell someone kills trump before WW3 can even begin, or some person would strike a deal with russia and be like "here he is take him, we dont want a war, we dont want him or his stupid VP" and keep us from being demolished in a war and killing millions who didnt want this idiot as our leader. We had to choose between 2 evils and neither was a lesser evil so either way we got fucked as a country. We need Berny Sanders, idk why america decided to be asshats and not vote him in.
I can only keep pretending im ok for so long. I can only take comfort in faking that everything is ok for a short time.
I cant talk to anyone in person about this, i cant face someone and let it all out, all i can do is type this because i know no one reads it. No one cares about 1 silly womans feeling or rants or self pitty bullshit on this sad blog.
As usual, this helped calm me a little bit, but it wont fix anything. I know i wont be able to sleep tonight, so lets hope some coffee and peanut-butter will wake me up (protein is energy right?)
I got it out, so i guess ill go read, maybe eat because im hungry.....night

-- me

p.s. my rose gold engagement ring

Been a while....

It been a while since i last blogged, and that is because life happened and i wasnt able to do it, and life is still kinda happening so i dont know how often i will blog.
Im only doing it now because im really depressed and crying and i have no one, literally no one i can talk to, so i have to write it down.
I always try to stay strong and pretend like everything is ok, like im fine. Im really not, but i have gotten good at putting on a good face or covering up when im upset.
The sad truth to it all is, i dont really have any friends. I have people who talk to me to be nice. People who prolly just put up with me because they have to, I honestly have no idea why JD even loves me and wants to be with me. I question it all the time.
My mom puts up with me because i take care of her. My own family doesnt want anything to do with me.
I havent been on my game i usually play like i normally am and as far as i can tell no one has really noticed or cared.
I try to talk to people who are my "friends" on FB but they usually dont answer me, or they take days to do it, and the sad part is you can see when someone is on and when someone has looked at the message you sent them.
I also just realised i may have posted something to my other blog, but i cant remember my email for it lol great.
My head hurts now, and i dont feel like typing.

-Me