Ok so, i was helping out another department at work. they were setting mods for christmas, well lots of shelves are pains to move! so i was useing a rubber mallett and well that shelf rebelled and did a freaking ninja flip to my chin!! so i reported it to work like im supposed to, well i went to the dr today and there is a possibility that i fractured my chin........
only i could do that with a shelf to the face!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
One thing that's been on my mind, and others minds quite a lot.....
Now that some things have changed in my life, one thing that has been on my mind, and apparently a few other peoples mind (about me!) is if i want to have a baby and be a mom.
Now i know my mother would be happy if i did, cause im the baby, so i dunno, shes looked at me all crazy when i was holding my great nephew, and my reaction was like "uh no"
I know my best friend's mom thinks i need one, shes flat out told me so.
The guy im sleeping with - his mother wants lots of grand kids! and she constantly informs me of so.
My boss (well one of them, the one i like and is like a friend to me) is surprised im not pregnant.
The guy im sleeping with, well he doesnt think there is the right person out there in the world for him to have a solid relationship with to settle down and have a family. no that doesnt upset me cause were not dating.
Ill be honest, ive thought a couple times that i might have been pregnant, but i wasnt, which wasnt really a relief or a sadness, it was just like - ok.
then i thought, what would happen if i was? do i want to be a single mother? <-- first off, even thought the guy thinks what he thinks, he such a gentleman that i know hed pay child support if he didnt want to be fully involved with the kid if i kept it - and i have a friend who is having difficulty getting pregnant and would be willing to adopt the kid if that was the choice i had to make. or we, cause its my body, but it would be his child too - and thats where the complication comes into all of it!!! am i willing to fuck up not only my life and the childs life but another persons life cause i choose to keep a child neither of us are ready for?
i mean at this point, this guy is pretty close to becomeing one of my best friends. which i only have 2 - and 1 is my soul sister i swear and i love her to death.
things arnt awakard or weird or stressful between us, im completely comfortable arround him, and can talk to him or just hang out - we dont even have to fuck - like im not arround him for the sex, im arround him cause i like to be, he doesnt make shit stressful and i like that cause fuck my life is stressful! and his family loves me, so i enjoy being arround them too.
im a fatty, like a chunky woman, i got curves and all that shit, but he doesnt care, where as most guys only want some skinny bitch! he doesnt find me annoying, which i know quite a few people do even if they wont admit it.
i dont know how many other people in the world find someone like this - just someone who really gets you, and you get them and its like, i dont know how to describe it, but this is all completely besides the point.
DO I WANT TO BE A MOTHER?
CAN I WILLINGLY RUIN 3 PEOPLES LIFE'S?
CAN I TAKE CARE OF ME, MY MOTHER AND A CHILD?
AND 2 DOGS????
Do i really have what it takes to properly raise a child to be a good person and not a dumb ass like all the other kids that stupid people are doing a fucking bad job of raising?
I cant even remember where i put shit half the time, what if im one of the dumb asses who leaves thier child in the car? i would die, completely.
The most drilling question is, can i even get pregnant? - i got an ultra sound, and well the doctors cant find my right ovary. For all i know, im completely infertile.
At this point, aside from all these questions which ill never be able to answer until it happens, im just like
"what ever happens - happens and when it does ill go from there"
Now i know my mother would be happy if i did, cause im the baby, so i dunno, shes looked at me all crazy when i was holding my great nephew, and my reaction was like "uh no"
I know my best friend's mom thinks i need one, shes flat out told me so.
The guy im sleeping with - his mother wants lots of grand kids! and she constantly informs me of so.
My boss (well one of them, the one i like and is like a friend to me) is surprised im not pregnant.
The guy im sleeping with, well he doesnt think there is the right person out there in the world for him to have a solid relationship with to settle down and have a family. no that doesnt upset me cause were not dating.
Ill be honest, ive thought a couple times that i might have been pregnant, but i wasnt, which wasnt really a relief or a sadness, it was just like - ok.
then i thought, what would happen if i was? do i want to be a single mother? <-- first off, even thought the guy thinks what he thinks, he such a gentleman that i know hed pay child support if he didnt want to be fully involved with the kid if i kept it - and i have a friend who is having difficulty getting pregnant and would be willing to adopt the kid if that was the choice i had to make. or we, cause its my body, but it would be his child too - and thats where the complication comes into all of it!!! am i willing to fuck up not only my life and the childs life but another persons life cause i choose to keep a child neither of us are ready for?
i mean at this point, this guy is pretty close to becomeing one of my best friends. which i only have 2 - and 1 is my soul sister i swear and i love her to death.
things arnt awakard or weird or stressful between us, im completely comfortable arround him, and can talk to him or just hang out - we dont even have to fuck - like im not arround him for the sex, im arround him cause i like to be, he doesnt make shit stressful and i like that cause fuck my life is stressful! and his family loves me, so i enjoy being arround them too.
im a fatty, like a chunky woman, i got curves and all that shit, but he doesnt care, where as most guys only want some skinny bitch! he doesnt find me annoying, which i know quite a few people do even if they wont admit it.
i dont know how many other people in the world find someone like this - just someone who really gets you, and you get them and its like, i dont know how to describe it, but this is all completely besides the point.
DO I WANT TO BE A MOTHER?
CAN I WILLINGLY RUIN 3 PEOPLES LIFE'S?
CAN I TAKE CARE OF ME, MY MOTHER AND A CHILD?
AND 2 DOGS????
Do i really have what it takes to properly raise a child to be a good person and not a dumb ass like all the other kids that stupid people are doing a fucking bad job of raising?
I cant even remember where i put shit half the time, what if im one of the dumb asses who leaves thier child in the car? i would die, completely.
The most drilling question is, can i even get pregnant? - i got an ultra sound, and well the doctors cant find my right ovary. For all i know, im completely infertile.
At this point, aside from all these questions which ill never be able to answer until it happens, im just like
"what ever happens - happens and when it does ill go from there"
This sucks!
I understand completely that i need to take my medicine to not die pretty much, high blood pressure and anxiety sucks, but my doctor did say i could have 1 or 2 drinks and id be fine, so i have an occasional glass of wine. 1 glass. Today i decided to buy some Mikes hard lemonade because its the same alcohol content as the wine does! since today was quite stressful say i figured it would be a nice way to relax. no, my damn luck i drink some of it and have a panic attack!!!!! not from drinking, but just from stress build up and i freaked out.
im super lucky to have my mom though, she helped me calm down and fall asleep to kick the stupid thing, but now my lemonade is warm......
cant even enjoy a simple drink cause of how stressful life is :( how fucking sad is that?
this sucks.....
--me
im super lucky to have my mom though, she helped me calm down and fall asleep to kick the stupid thing, but now my lemonade is warm......
cant even enjoy a simple drink cause of how stressful life is :( how fucking sad is that?
this sucks.....
--me
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Dog park adventure....final!
Just go back from the dog park, our dogs were the only ones there. they even had 2 sections, 1 for big dogs and 1 for little dogs. they ran like crazy and had lots of fun chaseing people along the fence who were riding past on bikes.
top pic is my dog and bottom is my mothers dog! rnt they cute!
top pic is my dog and bottom is my mothers dog! rnt they cute!
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Dog park adventure....to be continued!
So, we are finaly going to take our dogs to the dog park tomorro, i will inform you of how it does!
-me
-me
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Hate being sick
I'm not contagious but strep throat still sucks. Meds are dragging me down. :( hating it!
--me
Childish bullshit
Why are some adults still little fucking children? Your how old and you still want to play this high school bullshit? Maybe its somewhat of a good thing.
There was a monolog I wanted to perform once because of one line that said "no let's be children let's throw rocks n call each other names. At least their honest" which is damn true kids tell it like it is. Now if people acted that way n not stupid childish secret lies shit it would be OK.
Your an adult put the petty shit behind you and act like a fucking grown up and get on with your adult life!
--me
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Firsts.....probably more then i should share.....
So i usual dont like to dive into details on my blog, since i really dont know who all does read this, but at this point, im just giving in and telling 2 firsts, yes one will be embarrising, but its a good story.
To start, it happened between me and a co worker, although i said id never do things with a co worker, but at this point we dont work together anymore, so it doesnt matter.
He said he liked me, and i was cute, he said hed kiss me if he got the chance, now instead of being a scared little girl like in high school, i said fuck it, be a woman missy and go for it. So i did, on my break, and before he started work, i walked as confidently as i could out to his truck got in and kissed him, made out a little and got caught by another co worker, who told another and so on, at this point im sure most people know what happened.
What they dont know is, one night, he picked me up and we drove over to an empty parking lot, to make out and get all touchy and have fun, but not go to far, at lease thats what the plan was. I was wearing my short pj shorts, so he had full access, it was getting very hot, and the windows wernt down so they were getting foggy. I leaned back so he could get a little more access, as much as i had to him, well animal instinct much have kicked in or hormones or something that i never thought would happen, and there we were, having sex. there i was no longer a vergin.......yes it hurt a bit, but he was so gentle and sweet that it wasnt bad, it was probably a lot better then most girls first time, and i was glad it wasnt with some stranger or random person.
Of corse after words both of us were like "cant believe we just did that" and drove away before anyone came by.....it was a beautiful moment and i enjoyed it, so not only did i get my "lost my verginity" story but i also got my "strangest and most public place" sex story.
Here is a less interesting story, i got strep throat for the first time ever. it sucks....
Great story right? lol
The first is a lot more then id like to share on this, but i figured, im heading in a new chaper in my life, so why not just go for it?
Lol just like my first time :)
hope you enjoyed this cause it probably wont happen again
-me
To start, it happened between me and a co worker, although i said id never do things with a co worker, but at this point we dont work together anymore, so it doesnt matter.
He said he liked me, and i was cute, he said hed kiss me if he got the chance, now instead of being a scared little girl like in high school, i said fuck it, be a woman missy and go for it. So i did, on my break, and before he started work, i walked as confidently as i could out to his truck got in and kissed him, made out a little and got caught by another co worker, who told another and so on, at this point im sure most people know what happened.
What they dont know is, one night, he picked me up and we drove over to an empty parking lot, to make out and get all touchy and have fun, but not go to far, at lease thats what the plan was. I was wearing my short pj shorts, so he had full access, it was getting very hot, and the windows wernt down so they were getting foggy. I leaned back so he could get a little more access, as much as i had to him, well animal instinct much have kicked in or hormones or something that i never thought would happen, and there we were, having sex. there i was no longer a vergin.......yes it hurt a bit, but he was so gentle and sweet that it wasnt bad, it was probably a lot better then most girls first time, and i was glad it wasnt with some stranger or random person.
Of corse after words both of us were like "cant believe we just did that" and drove away before anyone came by.....it was a beautiful moment and i enjoyed it, so not only did i get my "lost my verginity" story but i also got my "strangest and most public place" sex story.
Here is a less interesting story, i got strep throat for the first time ever. it sucks....
Great story right? lol
The first is a lot more then id like to share on this, but i figured, im heading in a new chaper in my life, so why not just go for it?
Lol just like my first time :)
hope you enjoyed this cause it probably wont happen again
-me
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)