Its 11:57pm in 2014. This is my last blog for this year. See you next year my followers.
--me
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Possibilty
So there is a chance me and a friend will be making a youtube channel, so my dear followers keep an eye out!
--me
--me
Saturday, December 27, 2014
"Wibbly Wobbily Timey Wimey..."
Weird title? yes yes it is! and hopefuly i have some whovians who read this! if so they would get the referance, or even someone whose watched Hillywoods Doctor Who parody.
Life....what can i say this time? my fathers mother is in the hospital, shes not doing well at all, and shes not the same bitch she was as when i was a child, shes got dementia (is that how you spell it?) and she didnt even know who i was, she kept calling my father by his brothers name and she couldnt remember if she lived in her trailer or in a home. she has a brain tumor and had a stroke and is going down hill quickly. i walked into that hospital with complete haterid for that woman and walked out not know how to feel. i still cant get over the things she did to her children and to me, but i cant help but feel sorry for her. is this karma? getting back at her for all the aweful things she did? and after all she did to my father he was still upset and hurt and even stepped out of the room to keep from crying because it was just too much....maybe its because she did give him life and now shes gone, shes not the person she was, and she cant even remember half the people she sees or where she is anymore. she couldnt even remember that he sister and mother are both gone. she kept asking questions about them and how they were doing. she kept saying that shed take us out to breakfast in the morning, even though i doubt shell be leaving the hospital any time soon at all, shes been there since tuesday.
is this what happens? when you are a mean person, and karma finaly hits you up, do you get the worst there is? or is this some higher power giving her a chance to go to her grave without feeling horrible about all she had done? is this her chance to be at peace after all is said and done?
karma or higher power?
im sure that will start an arguement, maybe just maybe its both.....maybe karma is the higher power.
who really knows? i sure dont.
--me
Life....what can i say this time? my fathers mother is in the hospital, shes not doing well at all, and shes not the same bitch she was as when i was a child, shes got dementia (is that how you spell it?) and she didnt even know who i was, she kept calling my father by his brothers name and she couldnt remember if she lived in her trailer or in a home. she has a brain tumor and had a stroke and is going down hill quickly. i walked into that hospital with complete haterid for that woman and walked out not know how to feel. i still cant get over the things she did to her children and to me, but i cant help but feel sorry for her. is this karma? getting back at her for all the aweful things she did? and after all she did to my father he was still upset and hurt and even stepped out of the room to keep from crying because it was just too much....maybe its because she did give him life and now shes gone, shes not the person she was, and she cant even remember half the people she sees or where she is anymore. she couldnt even remember that he sister and mother are both gone. she kept asking questions about them and how they were doing. she kept saying that shed take us out to breakfast in the morning, even though i doubt shell be leaving the hospital any time soon at all, shes been there since tuesday.
is this what happens? when you are a mean person, and karma finaly hits you up, do you get the worst there is? or is this some higher power giving her a chance to go to her grave without feeling horrible about all she had done? is this her chance to be at peace after all is said and done?
karma or higher power?
im sure that will start an arguement, maybe just maybe its both.....maybe karma is the higher power.
who really knows? i sure dont.
--me
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Life and everything else...
I think i am finaly finding out how he feels, slowly yes. I think he does really care for me but hes just as scared as i am to get hurt again. So i suppose thats good, since we are at least on the same level.
We had 2 amazing days together. Lots of fun and bonding. We went through all his movies and he gave me the digital copies so i could have the movies, some were expired but oh well. Got a few i really liked.
We decided from now on that when we buy movies they should be the blue ray/dvd combo because he has a blue ray and i have a standard dvd, so that way we both get the movie.
We did go on the hunt for Scooby doo and zombie island, a movie we both really enjoy, i left it at his house because im over there often enough not to worry about it, i think that surprised him.
As far as everything else, well my health isnt so good, i keep having major pains where my kidneys are, takes my breath away and im in so much pain, even with the pain pills the ER dr had me get.
I dont think the antibiotics are really doing anythin at all. Im miserable.
On a side note, i was surprised at how many views this blog had, i didnt exspect so many, and if there is anyone who is actaully following this blog, thank you - i didnt know my pathetic life and stories were worth much, but hey if you enjoy it all the more power to you, this is mainly for me to vent and put my thoughts out there to hopefully help with my anxiety and keep me sain.
Ive determined that i am strong enough to get tattoos, so i have as of now 4 that i want to get.
1 will be a sister tattoo with my best friend
2 will be dragonflys that i completely love
and the final one will be a memory tattoo for my grandmother who i miss very much. that one will be the last and prolly the most exspencive and painful. but the memory of my grandmother is priceless.
I need to lie down, since im in major pain right now and sitting is not helping anything. so if your following this blog, i shall "talk" to you next time.
--me
We had 2 amazing days together. Lots of fun and bonding. We went through all his movies and he gave me the digital copies so i could have the movies, some were expired but oh well. Got a few i really liked.
We decided from now on that when we buy movies they should be the blue ray/dvd combo because he has a blue ray and i have a standard dvd, so that way we both get the movie.
We did go on the hunt for Scooby doo and zombie island, a movie we both really enjoy, i left it at his house because im over there often enough not to worry about it, i think that surprised him.
As far as everything else, well my health isnt so good, i keep having major pains where my kidneys are, takes my breath away and im in so much pain, even with the pain pills the ER dr had me get.
I dont think the antibiotics are really doing anythin at all. Im miserable.
On a side note, i was surprised at how many views this blog had, i didnt exspect so many, and if there is anyone who is actaully following this blog, thank you - i didnt know my pathetic life and stories were worth much, but hey if you enjoy it all the more power to you, this is mainly for me to vent and put my thoughts out there to hopefully help with my anxiety and keep me sain.
Ive determined that i am strong enough to get tattoos, so i have as of now 4 that i want to get.
1 will be a sister tattoo with my best friend
2 will be dragonflys that i completely love
and the final one will be a memory tattoo for my grandmother who i miss very much. that one will be the last and prolly the most exspencive and painful. but the memory of my grandmother is priceless.
I need to lie down, since im in major pain right now and sitting is not helping anything. so if your following this blog, i shall "talk" to you next time.
--me
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Happy, havent been in a while!
I've been so busy living life that I haven't blogged in a while.
Things are...OK health wise
Happiness wise their pretty good.
Me n the guy I've mentioned had a fight but the end results were good. We still hang out n have fun. We get along great. I get along with his family great. He keeps things fresh and new and I love it.
I had to quit one job. The other I might loose. My heath is OK I'm not deathly sick k or contagious. Just having the same issue I had as a child. Sucks cause I may need surgery.
I'll keep things updated as I found out.
--me
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Just to much...
I have 2 jobs. I still don't make enough to get by. At this point its to much for me to handle. I'm coming to a complete breaking point in my life. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm preparing for the worst of it all.
I've been sick and no doctor is willing to help so far. Going to try one a friend recommend. Hope all goes well.
--me
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