So I told my ex that I've slept with someone. He doesn't know all of it. But I know I hurt him again. But now he's gonna stop waiting for me to go back to him and start dating. Relief. Just a random update.
--me
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Past few days....and Mcdonalds
So i was at his house for 3 days and 2 nights, yes we spent valentines day together, the night before we got into a.....well not night, friday morning we got into a fight. Something completely stupid and shouldnt have happened. We got it resolved, but things almost ended, cause of a mincomunication that was 100% both our faults, later that night, we has sex, really good sex and then talked after words, and then went to bed with some nice cuddles :) we both felt bad for what happened, we both want to be with eachother but as of now its hard on us both, were so used to pain and hurt from past relationships that its making things difficult but were working through it slowly, and not labeling whats going on as a relationship cause its not, its friends with benifits, purely, and were both ok with that as of right now. Maybe if things go good, there might be something in the furture, we both think about that but both know it will take lots of time.
Him and his mother keeps talking about wanting to get me hired with them, so all 3 of us would work together and clean and not have to worry about stupid people working with us, and i think we could work really well together. Might be fun, and successful for all we know, and since his father cant work cause of a workmans comp claim which completely fucked up his arm, he wants to start his own busniess, a small mom and pop shop, which would be fun, and of course they want to hire me and my mother to work there if they do. Just a small "family" business. Since according to them we are now apart of the family and were stuck.
I know his mother and father want us to be together, want grandkids and all that jizz jazz. My mom wants us to date too. His sister is the only one who accepts that its not what we want right now, which is nice. Their some really amazing people. Crazy and fun.
So for the mcdonalds part of my title, the only reason you all are getting an update is because im at mcdonalds using the free wifi, i had to come look up some help for my game ive been playing because i got stuck. I also braught my moms tablet to update her games. Which is taking forever of course. Thats why im blogging because im sitting here waiting. Which is boring and crazy because im in the play section because thats the only fucking place there is a plug in! I couldnt believe it, i was like shit, lol, kinda noisy but the kids are cute and there is a little grandma and grandpa with the grandkid and thier taking pics of her playing, and this cute little boy at the table next to me wanting his mom to help him on the slide cause hes scared, being completely patients while his mom eats. Completely off subject but its whats in my surrounding, and ive been thinking i need to get back to doing my freedom photography blog, cause i havent posted in that in a quite some time. Difficult when you cant go anywhere and dont have internet, but summer is comeing so maybe i can get back to it more seriously. I have been getting great photos of my dog. Which i suppose i can post those today since i have to wait anyways. Play with the editing stuff i have and make them what i like and post it :) going to be here prolly for an hour at least. This is going to suck completely. but hey i get to blog and get things going abit.
I supposed thats all for now, not much else to talk about or say. Life is pretty much still the same, but hey gotta keep going i suppose. til next time.
--me
Him and his mother keeps talking about wanting to get me hired with them, so all 3 of us would work together and clean and not have to worry about stupid people working with us, and i think we could work really well together. Might be fun, and successful for all we know, and since his father cant work cause of a workmans comp claim which completely fucked up his arm, he wants to start his own busniess, a small mom and pop shop, which would be fun, and of course they want to hire me and my mother to work there if they do. Just a small "family" business. Since according to them we are now apart of the family and were stuck.
I know his mother and father want us to be together, want grandkids and all that jizz jazz. My mom wants us to date too. His sister is the only one who accepts that its not what we want right now, which is nice. Their some really amazing people. Crazy and fun.
So for the mcdonalds part of my title, the only reason you all are getting an update is because im at mcdonalds using the free wifi, i had to come look up some help for my game ive been playing because i got stuck. I also braught my moms tablet to update her games. Which is taking forever of course. Thats why im blogging because im sitting here waiting. Which is boring and crazy because im in the play section because thats the only fucking place there is a plug in! I couldnt believe it, i was like shit, lol, kinda noisy but the kids are cute and there is a little grandma and grandpa with the grandkid and thier taking pics of her playing, and this cute little boy at the table next to me wanting his mom to help him on the slide cause hes scared, being completely patients while his mom eats. Completely off subject but its whats in my surrounding, and ive been thinking i need to get back to doing my freedom photography blog, cause i havent posted in that in a quite some time. Difficult when you cant go anywhere and dont have internet, but summer is comeing so maybe i can get back to it more seriously. I have been getting great photos of my dog. Which i suppose i can post those today since i have to wait anyways. Play with the editing stuff i have and make them what i like and post it :) going to be here prolly for an hour at least. This is going to suck completely. but hey i get to blog and get things going abit.
I supposed thats all for now, not much else to talk about or say. Life is pretty much still the same, but hey gotta keep going i suppose. til next time.
--me
Friday, February 13, 2015
Update while i am at my friends house with internet
So i got unemployment, but i only got payed for 1 week, been trying to get ahold of them to see why i havnt gotten my backpack for all of january - got the courier job i wanted, but thats on slight hold cause of my MVR - which will take money and time. I have all my other paper work done and taken care of. Still no relief of any stress at all, and maybe my friends mom will hire me to work with her cleaning JC Penny - all in all, life is still hell
--me
--me
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
2015 Reading Challenge
So update on that, which is and always will be its own post - i read 4 books in 1 month and 1 graphic novel.
So ive completed;
Ruronni Kenshin (graphic novel)
Im 15 and i dont want to die (really good book)
Naked in Death (death series another really good book, and i want to read the whole series)
And the first 2 narnia series books. Working on the 3rd. So thats The magicians nephew and the lion the witch and the wardrobe and im working on the horse and his boy which is the toughest so far to read.
So im doing pretty damn good, so ill update when i get the chance! laters
--me
So ive completed;
Ruronni Kenshin (graphic novel)
Im 15 and i dont want to die (really good book)
Naked in Death (death series another really good book, and i want to read the whole series)
And the first 2 narnia series books. Working on the 3rd. So thats The magicians nephew and the lion the witch and the wardrobe and im working on the horse and his boy which is the toughest so far to read.
So im doing pretty damn good, so ill update when i get the chance! laters
--me
No phone, no internet and complete and utter emotional roller coaster with him.
So i lost my job as all of you know, and my phone got turned off along with my internet.
We went through a crazy mess with a shitty company to try and get a phone and internet, well it didnt work, so i have internet for 1 night. So im blogging to catch all my followers up.
Ive put in for several jobs, got an interview with 1 and waiting on my back ground check. should only be a couple more weeks, finger crossed its a great job.
I got a second interview for a job i had back in cali, and i hope i get it but it sucks cause he also applied for the job and got an interview for it too, and with my expierence i will prolly get it and it makes me feel bad but we both need a job at this point.
On another not about him, well we got into another fight like thing. I told him how i felt about things and upset him cause i was hurting. He cried, which surprised me completely and told me that he cares about me and doesnt want to lose me. Which also surprised me, and i confessed to him that i am falling in love with him and it scares me, and i dont want to get hurt and he understands that. i also told him ive already accepted the fact that he prolly wont ever feel the same way i do, but i just want to be with him and if that makes me pathetic then oh well, were both happy, and i can see in his eyes he really does care. i swear he can steal my soul with his eye, and of course the sex keeps getting better ;) sure you guys didnt want to know that.
there is one thing that i have yet to do and i really should but i cant bring myself to do it. which is tell my ex that i have feelings for someone else, cause he still hopes ill go back to him, and i just cant do it, i hurt him already and i dont want to hurt him again.
With all that is going on i want to cry so bad, but i keep my head up and do the best i can with whats all going on, and hopefuly i wont lose my car. that would suck completely.
The only things that really makes my day better is seeing him, and i wish i could see him all the time. I just dont know what to do anymore, but thats my update for my followers, and i know its not much but at least its something. I miss you guys and blogging. Til next time
--me
We went through a crazy mess with a shitty company to try and get a phone and internet, well it didnt work, so i have internet for 1 night. So im blogging to catch all my followers up.
Ive put in for several jobs, got an interview with 1 and waiting on my back ground check. should only be a couple more weeks, finger crossed its a great job.
I got a second interview for a job i had back in cali, and i hope i get it but it sucks cause he also applied for the job and got an interview for it too, and with my expierence i will prolly get it and it makes me feel bad but we both need a job at this point.
On another not about him, well we got into another fight like thing. I told him how i felt about things and upset him cause i was hurting. He cried, which surprised me completely and told me that he cares about me and doesnt want to lose me. Which also surprised me, and i confessed to him that i am falling in love with him and it scares me, and i dont want to get hurt and he understands that. i also told him ive already accepted the fact that he prolly wont ever feel the same way i do, but i just want to be with him and if that makes me pathetic then oh well, were both happy, and i can see in his eyes he really does care. i swear he can steal my soul with his eye, and of course the sex keeps getting better ;) sure you guys didnt want to know that.
there is one thing that i have yet to do and i really should but i cant bring myself to do it. which is tell my ex that i have feelings for someone else, cause he still hopes ill go back to him, and i just cant do it, i hurt him already and i dont want to hurt him again.
With all that is going on i want to cry so bad, but i keep my head up and do the best i can with whats all going on, and hopefuly i wont lose my car. that would suck completely.
The only things that really makes my day better is seeing him, and i wish i could see him all the time. I just dont know what to do anymore, but thats my update for my followers, and i know its not much but at least its something. I miss you guys and blogging. Til next time
--me
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