Path of self destruction

I don't know what to do anymore. I almost never eat. Don't have the money to do it. Work is hit or miss. I drink and smoke too much.

--me

What is going on?

I'm not with JD....I live alone...I've had far too mich sex with seval guys, from a 19 year old with a huge dick to a 30 year old who couldn't perform....now there is a new guy....who isn't even in the same state! I don't want a relationship.....I can't. I'm not capable of love like others. I ended 2 relationship after 3 years because i stopped loving them....he is so sweet but kinky and a bit of a bad boy. Who is on Skype and asleep. Which has put this big ass grin on my face....why? He makes me feel so many things and I know what most of them are....but some confuse me. I want to fuck him, but I am also terrified that eventually I will want more...he has made it abundendtly clear he eventually will.....
At this moment I am pretty happy. The happeiest I have been in a while actually but I'm terrified...I kinda like not knowing, but I also want to know.
I want to know if this will go somewhere and how it will end, it it will end. I want to know what would happen if it doesn't go anywhere besides sex. Or if it goes somewhere, but that somewhere is me getting used to he can escape the life and town he wants to leave. Crazy to think. I'm obsessed with him. I crave him. Help.....

--me

So far...

So JD and I split. Of course i was not on birth control, getting a lot of guys hitting me up. I was dumb and Wreckless last night. I enjoyed it and that scares me. So I need to adult now lol and do the right thing. Wish me luck.

--me

Life

A lot has happened. Per usual....i left JD. I'm on my own. I'm becoming a hoe....

--me

I make a mark

Most people want to make some mark, something to be remembered by...apparently i do. I never realised it until I came back to fcr.

You got me anyways

I got my call center job back. I also got my septum pierced.

Apparently i have a deviated septum.

Toying with my emotions

So my current job is taking my hours away from me....I reapplied to my old job....was offered my job back. A few hours later was called and told they can't hire me. No reason just no.....

-  me