I have not updated since 2019. Wow. A lot happened in 2020 as I am sure a lot of people know. It had a lot of down and then I just kinda got numb to it all.
I am still single, but I live with roommates in a home. I have a cat. I have a lot more piercings and tattoos. My blogging skills are just as terrible as they always have been. Same for my insecurities, depression and anxiety.
I smoke Pot tho. I guess there are some ups. Have some good close friends and people who do care about me. I still got to keep my job and got promoted during the pandemic. So hey, silver lining.
I keep getting screwed over by people. Like am I just so dumb? I had this guy tell me he "wasn't existing" until he went on some trip. So it got me thinking. Maybe I will just stop existing and not in the bad I am gonna hurt myself kind of way. I am not there., and I hope I never get there again. What I mean is, socially. Like I wont delete anything but maybe just stop posting and talking? I know who would notice and who would reach out to me. So why am I bothering with these other people? I mean nothing to them unless they want something.
The question is, would this make me happier? Like who am I hurting in the end or is this a happy for everyone? I know my best friend would still talk to me and make sure I am ok. Heck the girl would probably send me noodes if I begged for them. She my bestie and maybe I would be in a worse play mentally without her.
I dunno but I figured I would put these thoughts down. Til next time.
-- me
